Fire Crackers.................And Your Baby..........

What's your opinion on... fire crackers?

Hi Parents,

Do you feel fire crackers are waste of money? Will you be lighting firecrackers this year? 

Or do you feel that it's OK to light one or two fire crackers.

What is your opinion on the use of fire crackers?

Baby Screaming

Some toddlers scream whenever they want their parents' attention. It's their way of saying, "Hey, look at me." 

Others scream when they want something they can't have — like a piece of candy. In that case, the shrieking means, "I want my way — give it to me now!"

What you can do about it

Screaming at your toddler to lower her voice won't help — it'll only send the message that whoever's loudest prevails. Your best bet is to avoid situations that'll tempt your toddler to raise her voice — and to divert her attention when she does scream. 

Here are some ideas on doing just that:

Run errands on her schedule. It's not always possible to work around your toddler, but whenever you can, make sure she's well-rested, with a full stomach and an empty bladder, when you leave the house. 

"If you were tired and hungry you wouldn't have the patience or energy to go grocery shopping in a cold supermarket, would you? The same is true for your toddler," says Leiderman.

Stick to noisy stores and restaurants. When you have your toddler in tow, stay away from quiet, intimate, or formal places. 

Instead, go where other families go. You'll be less embarrassed when your child screams in an already loud restaurant, and less likely to reinforce her behavior by trying to cajole her into settling down.

Ask her to use an indoor voice. If your toddler's screaming because she's happy, try not to comment or criticize. 

But if it's really getting to you, ask her to use her "indoor voice" and stop yelling. Lower your voice so she'll have to quiet down to hear you, and calmly say, "I can't stand the screaming, honey. It's giving me a big headache."

Make a game out of it. Try indulging her need to be loud by saying, "Let's both shriek as loud as we can," and then join her in letting it rip. 

Then turn down the volume by saying, "Now it's time to see who can whisper best." Then, like a Simon Says game, switch to other movements, such as putting your hands over your ears or jumping up and down. This'll make screaming seem like just one of many fun things she can do. 

"If you're in public you can make the game quieter even sooner by saying something like 'Oh, you sound like a lion! Can you sound like a kitty cat?'" says Leiderman.

Acknowledge her feelings. If your toddler's screaming because she wants your attention, ask yourself whether she's genuinely uncomfortable or overwhelmed. 

If you think the environment you're in — say it's a huge supermarket packed with people — is too much for her, rush through your shopping and leave quickly. Then make it a point to shop at smaller markets (or visit the big ones during off-peak hours) and work your way gradually up to the larger, fuller ones again.

If you think she's just a little bored or cranky, acknowledge her feelings. Calmly say, "I know you want to go home, but wait just a few minutes, we're almost done," and push on. Not only will she be comforted that you know how she feels, it'll help her learn how to put her feelings into words.

If you know your toddler's shouting because she thinks she can get you to hand over a cookie that way, don't give in. You'll only reinforce her behavior by giving her what she wants when she screams. 

Instead, calmly say, "I know you want a cookie, but we have to finish this first. You can have a cookie when we get home." 

Don't bother saying that she can have the cookie later only if she behaves better immediately — by the time she gets it, she probably won't recall what she did to earn it. Simply offer her a cookie later at home.

Keep her occupied. You can make errands more fun for your toddler by engaging her in an activity. Two tactics to try:

Play a game. One 15-month-old's mom told us, "I just talk to my son when we're out running errands. I tell him what I'm doing, what's going on around us, and who's nearby. I've learned that he's quiet when he's busy." 

Ask your toddler to help you pick things off the shelves at the supermarket. Or, make up a song about what you're doing. "Just singing, 'We're looking for bananas, bananas, bananas!' makes it more fun for your child," says Leiderman.

Offer toys and snacks. Just be sure to give them to your toddler before she screams. 

If you wait until she's screaming to give her a cookie, you'll reinforce that behavior by sending the message that she gets what she wants when she raises her voice. Offer her a snack or toy while she's being quiet, and see if you can't give it an extra twist. 

One mom's secret: "I bought my son a little bowl that has a rotating lid so he can't dump the food out. He's entertained by trying to get the snack out. Then once he does, he's too busy chewing to shriek." 

Another mom says, "My son has a toy that stays in the car, so it's more special to him than the toys he has in the house and it really holds his interest when we're running errands."

Finally, ignore the onlookers. For many moms the most difficult part of coping with a toddler who loves to scream is brushing off other people's dirty looks. 

Here's how one second-time mom handles it: "My 12-month-old daughter screams at the top of her lungs. She isn't hurt or frustrated — she just wants to scream. At 12 months old, she doesn't understand why she shouldn't do this. 

"When I was an inexperienced mother, this would have embarrassed me. Now I just think, what difference does it make? I've finally realized it doesn't matter what other people think." 

And if that's not enough to convince you that you're not alone, take this ex-onlooker's advice: "I never thought I would be the one saying this because my husband and I used to be the ones who glared, but I say let them stare! 

"Obviously, if you're someplace like a church or quiet restaurant where your child's screaming is truly disruptive, take him outside for a while. But in a place like the grocery store, let them look. They'll get over it!"

Baby`s First Word

Before babies learn to talk in a real language -- English, say, or Spanish -- they babble and coo, playing with sound. That's baby talk, and baby talk sounds similar the world over.

But when will you hear your baby's first words? Critical milestones for a baby learning to talk happen in the first three years of life, when a baby's brain is rapidly developing. During that time, your baby's speech development depends on your"baby talk" skills as well as your baby's.

When Will You Hear Baby's First Words?

The first "baby talk" is nonverbal and happens soon after birth. Your baby smiles, grimaces, cries, and squirms to express a range of emotions and physical needs, from fear and hunger to frustration and sensory overload. Good parents learn to listen and interpret their baby's different cries.

Just when your baby will say those magical first words varies greatly from individual baby to individual baby. But if your baby misses any of the following milestones in speech development, talk to your pediatrician or family doctor about your concerns.

Baby Talk Milestones

• Baby talk at 3 months. At 3 months, your baby listens to your voice, watches your face as you talk, and turns toward other voices, sounds, and music that can be heard around the home. Many infants prefer a woman's voice over a man's. Many also prefer voices and music they heard while they were still in the womb. By the end of three months, babies begin "cooing" -- a happy, gentle, repetitive, sing-song vocalization.

• Baby talk at 6 months. At 6 months, your baby begins babbling with different sounds. For example, your baby may say "ba-ba" or "da-da." By the end of the sixth or seventh month, babies respond to their own names, recognize their native language, and use their tone of voice to tell you they're happy or upset. Some eager parents interpret a string of "da-da" babbles as their baby's first words -- "daddy!" But babbling at this age is usually still made up of random syllables without real meaning or comprehension.

• Baby talk at 9 months. After 9 months, babies can understand a few basic words like "no" and "bye-bye." They also may begin to use a wider range of consonant sounds and tones of voice.

• Baby talk at 12 months. Most babies say a few simple words like "mama" and "dadda" by the end of 12 months -- and now know what they're saying. They respond to -- or at least understand, if not obey -- your short, one-step requests such as, "Please put that down."

• Baby talk at 18 months. Babies at this age say up to 10 simple words and can point to people, objects, and body parts you name for them. They repeat words or sounds they hear you say, like the last word in a sentence. But they often leave off endings or beginnings of words. For example, they may say "daw" for "dog" or "noo-noo's" for "noodles."

• Baby talk at 2 years. By the age of 2, babies string together a few words in short phrases of two to four words, such as "Mommy bye-bye" or "me milk." They're learning that words mean more than objects like "cup" -- they also mean abstract ideas like "mine."

• Baby talk at 3 years. By the time your baby is 3, his or her vocabulary expands rapidly, and "make-believe" play spurs an understanding of symbolic and abstract language like "now," feelings like "sad," and spatial concepts like "in."

Can You Teach Babies to Talk?

Babies understand what you're saying long before they can clearly speak. Many babies learning to talk use only one or two words at first, even when they understand 25 or more.

You can help your baby learn to talk if you:

• Watch. Your baby may reach both arms up to say she wants to be picked up, hand you a toy to say she wants to play, or push food off her plate to say she's had enough. Smile, make eye contact, and respond to encourage these early, nonverbal attempts at baby talk.

• Listen. Pay attention to your baby's cooing and babbling, and coo and babble those same sounds right back to your baby. Babies try to imitate sounds their parents are making and to vary pitch and tone to match the language heard around them. So be patient and give your baby lots of time to "talk" to you.

• Praise. Smile and applaud even the smallest or most confusing attempts at baby talk. Babies learn the power of speech by the reactions of adults around them.

• Imitate. Babies love to hear their parents' voices. And when parents talk to them it helps speech develop. The more you talk their "baby talk" with them, using short, simple but correct words, such as "dog" when your baby says "daw," the more babies will keep trying to talk.

• Elaborate. If your baby points to the table and makes noise, don't just give him more noodles. Instead, point to the noodles and say, "Do you want some more noodles? These noodles taste good with cheese, don't they?"

• Narrate. Talk about what you're doing as you wash, dress, feed, and change your baby -- "Let's put on these blue socks now" or "I'm cutting up your chicken for you" -- so your baby connects your speech to these objects and experiences.

• Hang in there. Even when you don't understand what your baby is saying, keep trying. Gently repeat back what you think is being said, and ask if that's right. Keep offering your loving attention so your baby feels rewarded for trying to talk.

• Let your child lead. During playtime, follow your child's attention and interests to show that communication is a two-way game of talking and listening, leading, and following.

• Play. Encourage children to play, pretend, and imagine out loud to develop verbal skills as they become toddlers.

• Read aloud. Lifelong readers come from young children who have plenty of fun, relaxing experiences of being read to out loud.

If You're Concerned About a Speech Delay

Watch for any sign of a major speech delay in your baby, and talk with your doctor if you sense there's a problem. A speech delay can happen for a number of reasons, but the earlier a speech problem in babies is diagnosed, the more time you'll have to correct it and help your child reach his or her full potential before school age. After consulting with your pediatrician, here are things to do to help with delayed speech:

• Have a hearing test done. As many as three out of 1,000 newborns have hearing loss, which can cause delayed speech development. Be sure to have your infant screened for hearing loss before leaving the hospital right after birth -- or by 1 month old at the latest. Give your baby a full hearing exam by 3 months of age if he or she doesn't pass the initial hearing screening.
• See a speech-language pathologist. A speech therapist can diagnose and treat specific speech, language, or voice disorders that delay speech. Treatment may include giving parents tips and games to improve speech problems in babies and improve a child's language skills.
• Consider developmental screening. Up to 17% of children in the U.S. have a developmental or behavioral disability such as autism, intellectual disability (also called mental retardation), or ADHD. Ask your baby's doctor about screening for these developmental problems, which can cause speech delays.

Common Baby Feeding Problems

All mothers complain of some common problems while feeding their child. This might be due to two reasons. One is, they are too naughty and simply love doing so, and the other is this that they hate eating what you give. But knowing these common problems while feeding a baby will help you beware of the common baby behaviours. Here is a list of some of the most crazy activities that a child does while eating.

Spill Food- 
This is of the most common problems while feeding a baby. Most of the times it is seen that as soon as you feed your baby some food, they spill it out of their mouth. No matter what you give it, baby food or formula milk, they will do the same with everything. This becomes their habit. Get rid of baby problems as such by engaging then in games while you feed them.

Turn Mouth- 
This is another of the worse baby feeding problems that almost all mothers have to face. While feeding your baby you must have many times observed that as soon as you put the food into their mouth they turn it away. To get rid of baby problems as such, place a toy or any such thing that they love to watch in front of them. This way they will keep on looking in the same direction and will not move their head.

Keep In Mouth- 
Many babies have a habit of keeping the food in their mouth for a long while. After feeding your baby you will see that they will not at all chew or swallow the food in their mouth. Feeding problems as such can be dealt in a simple manner. Just take some food for you at the same time and put it in your mouth. Chew the food in front of them so that they copy the same activity

Own Hand- 
Children move around the whole house and keep touching all the stuff. Sometimes when you sit to feed them they will try to do so with their own hands. And in a try to do this they will smear food all over their body. The only way to solve this feeding problem is by training them the right way to have their food.

Run Around-
 Most children have a habit of moving around while you feed them. This is one of the worst baby feeding problems. Along with them you too have to run around. To make them sit in a place give their favourite toys or tell them a story. This will keep their mind engrossed and they will stay at one place.

These are all a few baby feeding problems and their possible solutions. If any other are known to you, do share with us.

Baby Use Sign Language

Just because your baby cannot talk, it does not mean that he or she is incapable of communication. A baby is capable of communicating even before he or she learns to form words. This form of communication happens through signs that babies use. Every baby uses sign language but, most of the times they don't make sense to adults. Some of these signs used in baby language are common. For example, all babies rub their eyes when they are sleepy.

 Here are some of the common signs that are a part of baby language.

Rubbing Eyes: 
It means that the baby is sleepy and must be put to bed. 

Clutching The Head or Pulling Hair:
This sign clearly indicates that something is bothering the child. It could be an internal problem like headache or an external factor like mosquitoes that is bothering the baby.

Clutching The Stomach:
 This indicates stomach pain. Most often it is colic pain which is very severe form of stomachache that occurs in babies between the ages of 1 to 12 months. 

Calling Signs: 
Almost all babies Learn the sign for calling instinctively. They raise their palms and fold their fingers repeatedly to call someone.

 Pointing: 
This sign too comes naturally to babies. They usually point at the things they want or point to the door if they want to taken out. But when it comes to the more complicated signs in baby language, the problem arises. So what you have to do is teach your baby a sign language that you both can mutually understand. There are a number of ways to do this.

 Playing Dumb-she-razz:
 Just like you play the game of dumb-she-razz, you can teach your baby sign language. Act out simple instructions to him or her. Like, if you want to do potty, make a 'poop' sound. Babies pick up sounds very easily. 

Flash Cards:
 Many day centres use flash cards to teach babies to talk. You can use the same at home to develop a sign language with your baby.

Remedies To Correct Shape Of Baby's Head

For those who have a normal baby, the headline might seem like an absurd question. But it is not. You baby's head can sometimes cause you a fair amount of concern. We all have heads that are shaped differently. Some of us have an oval head, others have round head and some people even have a square shaped head. But some babies have heads that are deformed. There are several reasons for a baby to have an ill-formed head. 

Forceps Delivery: 
In this type of delivery becomes necessary when the baby gets stuck in the vaginal tract. The baby's head is held with forceps and pulled out. This gives the baby's head an elongated look. The head might also have tapering marks at the points where the forceps are used.

Pressure In The Birth Canal:
 If the baby gets a little roughed up in the birth canal then the head can get a flattened shape. This usually happens when you have had a long and difficult labour. The repeated thrusts to come out messes up the shape of your baby's head. 

Manhandling:
 Your baby is as soft as a ball of cotton. Any kind of rough handling can change the shape of your baby's head. So if your baby has endured any of the above mentioned situations, you can use these home remedies to correct the shape of your baby's head. 

The Mustard Pillow: 
The oldest way to correct head shape of babies is to lay them on a pillow made of mustard seeds. This is soft but applies pressure at the right spots. This is one of the best home remedies to correct this minor deformity in your baby. 

Change Sleeping Position:
 If your baby lies on the same side through the night, the head might get flattened on one side. To prevent this, keep changing your baby's position from one side to another even while he or she is asleep.

 Stop Your Baby From Looking In One Direction All The Time:
 When the shape of the head is uneven, your baby will try to look at one direction all time. You have to distract the child with tows, sounds or baby talk and make sure that your baby looks around in all directions. These are some simple home remedies that you can try to ensure that your baby's head has a normal shape. If you have tried any other remedy to correct your baby's head shape, then do share with us.

Baby Sipper Cup to Wean Your Baby from Bottle Feeding

Parenting is one of the most challenging responsibilities especially for mothers. An infant baby demands different care and upbringing at different stage of its growth. In order to get a baby off to a healthy start parents need to expose them to products that are thoughtfully designed to promote baby's development, including independent feeding habits with high-quality, tableware products such as sipper cups, plates, bowls and utensils that would delight the little ones.

A baby should switch from a bottle to a sippy cup by the time they turn one. However, the key problem lies in making them learn how to use a sippy cup. In fact, learning how to hold a sipper cup ensures development of a strong fist grasp along with the ability to move things from the hand to the mouth with ease. However, using a baby sipper cup requires much more than simply picking an object up and putting it into the mouth.

Experts say that a sipper cup should be introduced when you introduce solid food to your baby i.e. around six months of age in preparation for dissuading the baby from the bottle or breast around one year of age. Drinking from a cup does not cause the liquid to collect around the teeth, which in turn is good for oral-motor development.

Babies have all good reasons for refusing sipper cups. Remember that all babies developing a different way so there is no need to get worried if your child is not able to handle one. Have a glimpse at some of the tips that could help you to introduce sipper cup successfully to your baby.

• Your baby may not be interested to suck the cup, you have to dip the spout of the cup into the liquid he drinks such as milk or juice to allow him to have a taste of it.

• You have to demonstrate how to use the cup by using different expressions and sounds.

• To begin with, a soft, rubbery spout that will seem more of a nipple should be given to your baby, which in turn will be more familiar to your baby.

Baby sipper cup is a great way to transit your baby from bottle or breast feeding to a regular cup. This helps improve hand-to-mouth coordination at the same time some independence to develop his feedinghabits. There are different kinds of sippy cups available in the market, with all kinds of spouts. In fact, you can shop them from online stores at highly affordable prices.

Is Baby Gripe Water Safe?

Baby gripe water(Non alcoholic) is actually a mixture of water with some herbs. One must feed their babies with gripe water.The herbs used in this water include fennel, ginger, peppermint and chamomile. Gripe water helps to improve the digestive system of the babies. Baby gripe water can provide lots of relief to the infants especially in case if his/her stomach is upset. 

One should not give gripe water to the baby as and when he likes. There is a correct dosage for that and it should be followed. Over dosage of gripe water may not be dangerous, but it is not recommended. The dosage varies according to the age of the infant. For a baby aging between I month and 6 months, one teaspoon 2-3 times a day is recommended.

If the age of the infant is between 6 months and 2 years then two teaspoonful 3-4 times a day is recommended. If the infant is above three years then you can feed him with 3-4 teaspoonful of gripe water 3-4 times a day. Some infants do not like the taste of the baby gripe water. You can feed them by mixing the baby gripe water with milk or water. If the infant is consuming breast milk then baby gripe water can be given using spoon. Otherwise gripe water can be fed along with the milk using the milk bottle.

Baby gripe water is good for the baby's health as it does not contain any chemical and contains only natural herbs. So, it will not have any side effects. Baby gripe water was found to be very effective against colic suffered by the infants.

Advantages of Using Baby Cloth Diapers

Among those many things the diapers play a more crucial role and it is one of the major tool by which most of the kids and children use to get one or the other disease. We use so many materials in our daily life to take care of the kid's health properly. When the diaper' hygiene is maintained properly, then there is no problem at all. But when the care is poor in case of diaper usage then there will be sure occurrence of some infectious diseases to the kids like common cold, respiratory diseases, sudden body temperature raising, etc.

Thus to solve all these unwanted issues try to use proper diapers for your kids. The best suggestion for using diapers for your loving kids is using baby cloth diapers. The cloth diapers have so many advantages when comparing with another form of diapers. The major benefits of using cloth diapers for your babies and kids are as follows:

• The primary benefit of using a cloth diaper is that it is totally devoid of the unwanted chemicals which are available in the disposable diaper.

• Using cloth diapers is one of an excellent idea and methodology because you can recycle it easily by washing it properly. Thus you can save the money and also your kids will get proper care and hygiene. But keep in mind that the cloth diapers should be washed and cleaned properly. Otherwise the problem will arise more severe than using the disposable diapers

• Most of the kids use to get a unique problem when using the diapers daily. It is nothing but the skin rashes. These rashes use to occur in the inguinal region or in the anal fold region. The rashes use to occur mostly when using the disposable diapers. This is because in case of disposable diapers, the diapers will be changed when it got filled up totally with urine or fecal matter. Till the time the kids have to wear the single diaper only. Because of this long standing moisture overt the pelvic region kids use to get skin rashes, sometimes skin infection also will start. Whereas in case of cloth diapers this problem can be totally eradicated because the cloth diapers have to be changed as soon as the kid got urinated.

Last but not least, using cloth diapers will save you money as well as the pollution which will not be gained when using the disposable plastic diapers.

What Good And Bad Drinks For Your Baby ?

Here's the truth on your child's drinks and beverage options. Learn which ones are healthiest and which ones to limit or avoid and why.

Note: The information in this slideshow is for children ages 1 and older. Babies under 6 months should drink only breastmilk or formula. Infants 6 to 12 months can also have small amounts of water. Experts recommend that you wait until your child turns 1 to introduce cow's milk.

Water

You can't go wrong with safe drinking water. It hydrates, helps regulate body temperature, and helps prevent constipation and urinary tract infections, all without adding calories or sugar to your baby’s diet.

Coconut water (elaneer / nariyal pani)

Coconut water is a very healthy option for your toddler. It is a rich source of vitamins and minerals and is ideal in preventing dehydration because it replenishes the natural salts lost by the body through sweat or other fluid loss. It is a great drink to give your child if she has diarrhoea.

Note: Coconut water is not suitable for children with kidney problems.

Flavoured or enhanced water

You can make flavoured water by adding a little fruit juice to plain filtered or boiled water. Or you can add freshly cut fruit to a glass of water for a delicate fruity taste or freeze fruits and use them instead of ice cubes. Just be careful that the fruit pieces are not small enough to be accidentally swallowed or they could be a choking hazard!

Limeade (nimbu pani)

Limeade (nimbu paani) is a good source of vitamin C, which helps the body absorb iron. It is also very refreshing in the heat, especially with a hint of mint (pudina). But limeade tends to be high on sugar, especially if it is bought in the market. Market bought varieties might also contain artificial flavours and colouring, which are not good for your child. Check the list of ingredients at the back to choose a variety made from real fruit.

Fruit juice

Juice is an acceptable way to get one serving of fruit each day, but whole fruit is a better choice. Juice lacks fibre and contains less of some nutrients than whole fruit. Plus, children tend to fill up on juice instead of healthier foods. 

You can make the juice at home or buy it in the market. If you buy it, make sure the package says ‘100 per cent juice’ otherwise there might be more colouring and artificial flavours than real juice. Limit your child’s juice intake to 3/4 cup per day. (Children age seven and older can have up to 1 cup a day.).

Milk drinks

After your baby turns one, she needs to have about 350ml of cow's milk each day. This will provide her with essential protein, calcium, magnesium and vitamins B12 and B2 (riboflavin). You can give her milk based drinks such as milkshakes, almond (badaam) milk, smoothies, lassi or chhaach. If she doesn't like milk, give two portions of calcium-rich foods instead.

It is not a good idea to give your child more than 350ml of milk a day. If you do, it may cut her appetite for solid foods that have other essential nutrients like iron and vitamins.

Cultured dairy beverages, yogurt drinks, probiotics and prebiotics

Most of these products have the same nutrients as milk, but some aren't fortified with vitamin D, so read the nutrition label if you are buying a packaged version. Some are made with live bacteria cultures which may aid digestion and protect the body from harmful gut bacteria. However, there may not be enough bacteria in one serving to make a difference to your child's health. Flavoured varieties contain added sugar. You also need to check the 'use by' date and storage instructions especially in hot humid weather.

Vegetable juice

Vegetable juices are a good way to feed veggies to a fussy eater. Tomato (tamatar) or carrot (gajar) juices are usually the favourites. You can try different combinations of vegetables. Some vegetables do not have much flavour on their own. Adding them into the juice with other tastier vegetables is a good way of getting your baby to have them.

If you buy vegetable juice, choose a variety with as little sodium as you can find. Some packaged juices contain more than half of a child's daily sodium allowance in one serving.

Soy milk (non-dairy made from soya beans)

Soy milk is an acceptable alternative to cow's milk (especially for those who are lactose intolerant), but it contains fewer nutrients. If your child drinks soy milk as a substitute for cow's milk, his doctor may recommend a vitamin supplement. He may also be put on a calcium supplement, especially if he does not have any other form of dairy products.

Some soy milk brands are fortified with calcium and vitamins A, D, and B12. Soy milk contains no saturated fat or cholesterol and may be enriched with omega-3 fats. Flavoured varieties tend to contain added sugar.

Rice milk (non-dairy made from rice grains)

Rice milk contains fewer nutrients and less protein than cow's milk. If it is given instead of cow’s milk, your paediatrician will advise you on other ways of getting the vital nutrients in your child’s diet.

Most families make rice milk at home because it is not easily available in the market. If you do buy it, check that the rice milk is fortified with calcium and vitamins A, D, and B12. Sweetened varieties of rice milk contain added sugar. Be sure to check the 'manufacture date' and 'use by' date.

Almond milk (non-dairy made from crushed almonds)

Almond milk contains fewer nutrients and less protein than cow's milk but almonds are rich in several vitamins. If almond milk is given instead of cow’s milk, your paediatrician will advise you on other ways of getting the vital nutrients in your child’s diet.

You can make almond milk at home by blending blanched almonds and water. If you find it in the market, check that it is fortified with calcium and vitamins A, D, and B12. Sweetened varieties of almond milk contain added sugar. Be sure to check the 'manufacture date' and 'use by' date.

Coconut milk beverages

Coconut milk beverage contains fewer nutrients and less protein than cow's milk, so it's not a good substitute. To make the most of this beverage, choose a brand that's fortified with calcium and vitamins A, D, and B12. Some varieties have a bit more saturated fat than low-fat cow's milk; others have less. And while health claims have been made recently for the fat in coconut oil, there's no real evidence that it's particularly good or bad for you. Sweetened varieties of coconut milk beverage contain added sugar. Be sure to check the 'manufacture date' and 'use by' date.

Fizzy drinks and sodas

Fizzy drinks have no nutritional value. Most brands contain artificial colouring or flavours. They also contain high amounts of sugar or artificial sweeteners. Some fizzy drinks also have caffeine. None of these ingredients are good for your child.

Sweetened drinks

Cordial, syrups or other concentrates that are dissolved in water, flavoured drinks that do not specify '100 percent juice' or juice powders contain ingredients that your child doesn't need (sugar, artificial sweeteners) or already gets enough of (vitamins). They may even contain additives that could be harmful (caffeine, artificial flavouring and food colours). Sports drinks often contain extra sodium, which young children don't need.

Tea

Regular tea (green or black) contains antioxidants, which are beneficial, but the tea may also contain caffeine, which your baby shouldn't have. If your child is very fond of tea, give no more than 1/4 of a cup per day and make sure it is very weak. Ginger tea (adrak ki chai) is often given to help soothe colds and sore throats. You can make it with holy basil (tulsi) leaves instead of black tea leaves.

Coffee and cold coffee

Coffee also contains caffeine and often, when coffee or cold coffee is made for children, it has a lot of sugar as well. Store-bought cold coffee or coffee based drinks available in coffee shops and ice cream parlours also often have a dollop of ice cream or chocolate syrup. This makes the drink very high on calories with very few nutrients.

Energy drinks

These products have no nutritional value. Most energy drinks contain large amounts of caffeine as well as sugar or artificial sweeteners. Some contain herbs and additives that may not be safe for children.

Psychology Of Your Baby

Bookstore shelves are crammed with titles purporting to help you make your baby smarter, happier, healthier, stronger, better-behaved and everything else you can imagine, in what I call a shopping-cart approach to infant development.Bookstore shelves are crammed with titles purporting to help you make your baby smarter, happier, healthier, stronger, better-behaved and everything else you can imagine, in what I call a shopping-cart approach to infant development. But experts are now beginning to look more broadly, in an integrated fashion, at the first few months of a baby's life. And so should you.
Psychological theorists are moving away from focusing on single areas such as physical development, genetic inheritance, cognitive skills or emotional attachment, which give at best a limited view of how babies develop. Instead, they are attempting to synthesize and integrate all the separate pieces of the infant-development puzzle. The results so far have been enlightening, and are beginning to suggest new ways of parenting.

The most important part of the emerging revelations is that the key to stimulating emotional and intellectual growth in your child is your own behavior— what you do, what you don't do, how you scold, how you reward and how you show affection. If the baby's brain is the hardware, then you, the parents, provide the software. When you understand the hardware (your baby's brain), you will be better able to design the software (your own behavior) to promote baby's well-being.

The first two years of life are critical in this regard because that's when your baby is building the mental foundation that will dictate his or her behavior through adulthood. In the first year alone, your baby's brain grows from about 400g to a stupendous 1000g. While this growth and development is in part predetermined by genetic force, exactly how the brain grows is dependent upon emotional interaction, and that involves you. "The human cerebral cortex adds about 70% of its final DNA content after birth," reports Allan N. Schore, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and bio behavioral sciences at UCLA Medical School, "and this expanding brain is directly influenced by early environmental enrichment and social experiences."

Failure to provide this enrichment during the first two years can lead to a lifetime of emotional disability, according to attachment theorists. We are talking about the need to create a relationship and environment that allows your child to grow up with an openness to learning and the ability to process, understand and experience emotion with compassion,intelligence and resilience. These are the basic building blocks of emotional success.

Following are comparisons of researchers' "old thinking" and "new thinking." They highlight the four new insights changing the way we view infant development. The sections on "What To Do" then explain how to apply that new information.

1. FEELINGS TRUMP THOUGHTS

It is the emotional quality of the relationship you have with your baby that will stimulate his or her brain for optimum emotional and intellectual growth.

OLD THINKING: In this country, far too much emphasis is placed on developing babies' cognitive abilities. Some of this push came out of the promising results of the Head Start program. Middle-class families reasoned that if a little stimulation in an under endowed home environment is beneficial, wouldn't "more" be better? And the race to create the "super baby" was on.

Gone are the days when parents just wished their child were "normal" and could "fit in" with other kids. Competition for selective schools and the social pressure it generates has made parents feel their child needs to be "gifted." Learning exercises, videos and educational toys are pushed on parents to use in play with their children. "Make it fun," the experts say. The emphasis is on developing baby's cognitive skills by using the emotional reward of parental attention as a behavior-training tool.

THE NEW THINKING: Flying in the face of all those "smarter" baby books are studies suggesting that pushing baby to learn words, numbers, colors and shapes too early forces the child to use lower-level thinking processes, rather than develop his or her learning ability. It's like a pony trick at the circus: When the pony paws the ground to "count" to three, it's really not counting; it's simply performing a stunt. Such "tricks" are not only not helpful to baby's learning process, they are potentially harmful. Tufts University child psychologist David Elkind makes it clear that putting pressure on a child to learn information sends the message that he or she needs to "perform" to gain the parents' acceptance, and it can dampen natural curiosity.

Instead, focus on building baby's emotional skills. "Emotional development is not just the foundation for important capacities such as intimacy and trust," says Stanley Greenspan, clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at George Washington University Medical School and author of the new comprehensive book Building Healthy Minds. "It is also the foundation of intelligence and a wide variety of cognitive skills. At each stage of development, emotions lead the way, and learning facts and skills follow. Even math skills, which appear to be strictly an impersonal cognition, are initially learned through the emotions: 'A lot' to a 2-year-old, for example, is more than he would expect, whereas 'a little' is less than he wants."

It makes sense: Consider how well you learn when you are passionate about a subject, compared to when you are simply required to learn it. That passion is the emotional fuel driving the cognitive process. So the question then becomes not "what toys and games should I use to make my baby smarter?" but "how should I interact with my baby to make him 'passionate' about the world around him?"

WHAT TO DO: When you read the baby "milestone" books or cognitive development guides, keep in mind that the central issue is your baby's emotional development. As Greenspan advises, "Synthesize this information about milestones and see them with emotional development as the central issue. This is like a basketball team, with the coach being our old friend, emotions. Because emotions tell the child what he wants to do--move his arm, make a sound, smile or frown. As you look at the various 'milestone components' motor, social and cognitive skills--look to see how the whole mental team is working together."

Not only will this give you more concrete clues as to how to strengthen your emotional relationship, but it will also serve to alert you to any "players" on the team that are weak or injured, i.e., a muscle problem in the legs, or a sight and hearing difficulty.

2. NOT JUST A SCREAMING MEATLOAF: BIRTH TO TWO MONTHS.

It's still largely unknown how well infants understand their world at birth, but new theories are challenging the traditional perspectives.

OLD THINKING: Until now, development experts thought infants occupied some kind of presocial, precognitive, preorganized life phase that stretched from birth to two months. They viewed newborns' needs as mainly physiological--with sleep-wake, day-night and hunger-satiation cycles--even calling the first month of life "the normal autism" phase, or as a friend calls it, the "screaming meatloaf" phase. Certainly, the newborn has emotional needs, but researchers thought they were only in response to basic sensory drives like taste, touch, etc.

THE NEW THINKING: In his revolutionary book, The Interpersonal World of the Infant, psychiatrist Daniel Stem challenged the conventional wisdom on infant development by proposing that babies come into this world as social beings. In research experiments, newborns consistently demonstrate that they actively seek sensory stimulation, have distinct preferences and, from birth, tend to form hypotheses about what is occurring in the world around them. Their preferences are emotional ones. In fact, parents would be unable to establish the physiological cycles like wake-sleep without the aid of such sensory, emotional activities as rocking, touching, soothing, talking and singing. In turn, these interactions stimulate the child's brain to make the neuronal connections she needs in order to process the sensory information provided.

WHAT TO DO: "Take note of your baby's own special biological makeup and interactive style," Greenspan advises. You need to see your baby for the special individual he is at birth. Then, "you can deliberately introduce the world to him in a way that maximizes his delight and minimizes his frustrations." This is also the time to learn how to help your baby regulate his emotions, for example, by offering an emotionally overloaded baby some soothing sounds or rocking to help him calm down.

3. THE LOVE LOOP: BEGINNING AT TWO MONTHS.

At approximately eight weeks, a miraculous thing occurs--your baby's vision improves and for the first time, she can fully see you and can make direct eye contact. These beginning visual experiences of your baby play an important role in social and emotional development. "In particular, the mother's emotionally expressive face is, by far, the most potent visual stimulus in the infant's environment," points out UCLA's Alan Schore, "and the child's intense interest in her face, especially in her eyes, leads him/her to track it in space to engage in periods of intense mutual gaze." The result: Endorphin levels rise in the baby's brain, causing pleasurable feelings of joy and excitement. But the key is for this joy to be interactive.

OLD THINKING: The mother pumps information and affection into the child, who participates only as an empty receptacle.

THE NEW THINKING: We now know that the baby's participation is crucial to creating a solid attachment bond. The loving gaze of parents to child is reciprocated by the baby with a loving gaze back to the parents, causing their endorphin levels to rise, thus completing a closed emotional circuit, a sort of "love loop." Now, mother (or father) and baby are truly in a dynamic, interactive system. "In essence, we are talking less about what the mother is doing to the baby and more about how the mother is being with the baby and how the baby is learning to be with the mother," says Schore.

The final aspect of this developing interactive system between mother and child is the mother's development of an "emotional synchronization" with her child. Schore defines this as the mother's ability to tune into the baby's internal states and respond accordingly. For example: Your baby is quietly lying on the floor, happy to take in the sights and sounds of the environment. As you notice the baby looking for stimulation, you respond with a game of "peek-a-boo." As you play with your child and she responds with shrieks of glee, you escalate the emotion with bigger and bigger gestures and facial expressions. Shortly thereafter, you notice the baby turns away. The input has reached its maximum and you sense your child needs you to back off for awhile as she goes back to a state of calm and restful inactivity. "The synchronization between the two is more than between their behavior and thoughts; the synchronization is on a biological level--their brains and nervous systems are linked together," points out Schore. "In this process, the mother is teaching and learning at the same time. As a result of this moment-by-moment matching of emotion, both partners increase their emotional connection to one another. In addition, the more the mother fine-tunes her activity level to the infant during periods of play and interaction, the more she allows the baby to disengage and recover quietly during periods of nonplay, before initiating actively arousing play again."

Neuropsychological research now indicates that this attuned interaction--engaged play, disengagement and restful nonplay, followed by a return to play behavior is especially helpful for brain growth and the development of cerebral circuits. This makes sense in light of the revelation that future cognitive development depends not on the cognitive stimulation of flashcards and videos, but on the attuned, dynamic and emotional interactions between parent and child. The play periods stimulate baby's central nervous system to excitation, followed by a restful period of alert inactivity in which the developing brain is able to process the stimulation and the interaction.

In this way, you, the parents, are the safety net under your baby's emotional highwire; the act of calming her down, or giving her the opportunity to calm down, will help her learn to handle ever-increasing intensity of stimulation and thus build emotional tolerance and resilience.

WHAT TO DO: There are two steps to maximizing your attunement ability: spontaneity and reflection. When in sync, you and baby will both experience positive emotion; when out of sync, you will see negative emotions. If much of your interactions seem to result in negative emotion, then it is time to reflect on your contribution to the equation.

In these instances, parents need to help one another discover what may be impeding the attunement process. Sometimes, on an unconscious level, it may be memories of our own childhood. For example, my friend sings nursery rhymes with a Boston accent, even though she grew up in New York, because her native Bostonian father sang them to her that way. While the "Fah-mah in the Dell" will probably not throw baby into a temper tantrum, it's a good example of how our actions or parenting style may be problematic without our realizing it.

But all parents have days when they are out of sync with baby, and the new perspective is that it's not such a bad thing. In fact, it's quite valuable. "Misattunement" is not a bioneurological disaster if you can become attuned again. The process of falling out of sync and then repairing the bond actually teaches children resilience, and a sense of confidence that the world will respond to them and repair any potential hurt.

Finally, let your baby take the lead. Schore suggests we "follow baby's own spontaneous expression of himself," which lets the child know that another person, i.e., mom or dad, can understand what he is feeling, doing, and even thinking. Such experiences, says Schore, assist in the development of the prefrontal area, which controls "empathy, and therefore that which makes us most 'human.'"

4. THE SHAME TRANSACTION

Toward the end of the first year, as crawling turns to walking, a shift occurs in the communication between child and parents. "Observational studies show that 12-month-olds receive more positive responses from mothers, while 18-month-olds receive more instructions and directions," says Schore. In one study, mothers of toddlers expressed a prohibition--basically telling the child "no"--approximately every nine minutes! That's likely because a mobile toddler has an uncanny knack for finding the most dangerous things to explore!

Yesterday, for example, I walked into the living room to find my daughter scribbling on the wall with a purple marker. "NO!" shot out of my mouth. She looked up at me with stunned shock, then realized what she had done. Immediately, she hung her head, about to cry. I babbled on a bit about how markers are only for paper, yada-yada and then thought, "Heck, it's washable." As I put my arm around my daughter, I segued into a suggestion for another activity: washing the wall! She brightened and raced to get the sponge. We had just concluded a "shame transaction."

OLD THINKING: Researchers considered all these "no's" a necessary byproduct of child safety or the socialization process. After all, we must teach children to use the potty rather than wet the bed, not to hit another child when mad, to behave properly in public. Researchers did not consider the function of shame vis-a-vis brain development. Instead, they advised trying to limit situations in which the child would feel shame.

NEW THINKING: It's true that you want to limit the shame situations, but they are not simply a necessary evil in order to civilize your baby. Neurobiological studies indicate that episodes of shame like the one I described can actually stimulate the development of the right hemisphere, the brain's source of creativity, emotion and sensitivity, as long as the shame period is short and followed by a recovery. In essence, it's not the experience of shame that can be damaging, but rather the inability of the parent to help the child recover from that shame.

WHAT TO DO: It's important to understand "the growth-facilitating importance of small doses of shame in the socialization process of the infant," says Schore. Embarrassment (a component of shame) first emerges around 14 months, when mom's "no" results in the child lowering his head and looking down in obvious sadness. The child goes from excited (my daughter scribbling on the wall) to sudden deflation (my "NO!") back to excitement ("It's okay, let's wash the wall together"). During this rapid process, various parts of the brain get quite a workout and experience heightened connectivity, which strengthens these systems. The result is development of the orbitofrontal cortex (cognitive area) and limbic system (emotional area) and the ability for the two systems to interrelate emotional resiliency in the child and the ability to self-regulateemotions and impulse control.

What is important to remember about productive shame reactions is that there must be a quick recovery. Extended periods of shame result in a child learning to shut down, or worse, become hyperirritable, perhaps even violent. It's common sense: Just think how you feel when someone embarrasses you. If that embarrassment goes on without relief, don't you tend to either flee the situation or mill against it?

From these new research findings, it's clear that successful parenting isn't just about intuition, instinct and doing what your mother did. It's also not about pushing the alphabet, multiplication tables or violin lessons. We now believe that by seeing the newborn as a whole person--as a thinking, feeling creature who can and should participate in his own emotional and cognitive development--we can maximize the stimulating potential of our relationship with a newborn baby.