Disrespectful Behavior

Disrespectful Behavior

Disrespectful behavior can frustrate even the calmest of parents. If it’s not addressed appropriately, disrespect can get worse through the years. The way you respond to behaviors such as talking back, inappropriate language, and attitude problems will discourage your child from doing it again.

Making faces, rolling her eyes, or saying, "Whatever Mom!" are just a few of the behaviors you might see from a mildly disrespectful child. On the more serious end of the spectrum, disrespectful children tend to swear, call people names, and become physically aggressive.

No matter where your child falls on the spectrum, it's important to address disrespectful behavior fast. The research is clear - disrespectful children turn into disrespectful adults.

Don't excuse disrespect by saying things like, "Well kids will be kids." Offering excuses only allows your child's rude behavior to continue.

Instead, step in and teach your child more socially appropriate ways to interact with others. Here are the most effective discipline techniques to curb disrespectful behavior fast:

1. Ignore Attention Seeking Behavior

Ignoring mild misbehavior can sometimes be one of the most effective negative consequences. That doesn't mean you're going to let your child get away with acting out, however. But it does mean you aren't going to give your child negative attention.

If you tell your child to clean his room, and he rolls his eyes, don't engage in a lengthy argument over his disrespectful behavior. Each minute you spend engaged in a power struggle is 60 seconds he'll put off cleaning his room. Paying too much attention to mild disrespect can backfire and lead to even bigger behavior problems.

Place the emphasis on the positive behavior by pointing out respectful behavior. Praise your child for behaving respectfully by saying things like, “Thanks for getting ready for dinner with such a good attitude.”

If you decide to have a conversation with your child about his disrespect, do so when you're calm.

Point out the problematic behavior by saying something such as, “When I told you to clean your room today you rolled your eyes at me. That’s disrespectful.” Explain the natural consequences for disrespectful behavior such as, “Disrespectful children often have trouble making friends."

2. Grandma’s Rule of Discipline

Grandma’s rule can be a great way to curb disrespectful behavior fast. Make it clear that your child will earn more privileges by behaving in a respectful manner.

Say something such as, “When you lower your voice and talk calmly, I’ll answer you,” or “I’ll help you pick up the toys when you stop being bossy.” Teach your child that polite and kind behavior will lead to positive results.

3. Use An If…Then Warning

Use an, “if…then,” statement to warn your child what will happen if the behavior doesn’t change. Say, “If you don’t stop interrupting when I’m on the phone then you’ll need to go to your room.”

This gives your child an opportunity to change his behavior around. Just make sure you're fully prepared to follow through with a negative consequence if he doesn't comply.

4. Provide a Negative Consequence

Moderate or serious disrespectful behavior requires an immediate negative consequence. If your teen walks out the door after you’ve told him he can’t leave, take away his privileges.

Time-out can be an effective negative consequence for young children. Logical consequences can be an effective for older children and teens.

5. Restitution

If your child or teen behaves disrespectful manner, restitution may be necessary to discourage it from happening again. If he hits his brother, make him do his brother's chores. Or, if your teen breaks something out of anger, make him fix it or pay to get it fixed.

Teach your child that saying, “I’m sorry,” doesn’t always fix things. Restitution will help him take responsibility for his disrespectful behavior while also working to repair the relationship.


You will also like to see:

1.  Whining

2.    Lying

3.   Confident social behavior (DO or Don`ts)

4.    Defiance And Non Compliance

5.    Child Developement

6.    Baby Psychology Tips

Defiance And Non Compliance

There are some behavior problems that almost every child exhibits at one time or another. Matching those behaviors to the best discipline strategies can resolve these behaviors before they become even bigger problems.

Defiance

It’s frustrating when a child refuses to follow directions, especially when he outright says “No!” when you tell him to do something. However, it’s normal for kids to test limits at one time or another. Sometimes defiance stems from a child testing your reaction, while other defiant behaviors may signal a child’s attempts to assert his independence. Preschoolers and tweens are especially likely to behave defiantly.

It's like that at one point or another, every child has looked at his parents and said, "No!" when he's been told to do something. And at certain points throughout your child's development, non-compliance can be appropriate.

When your child tests limits or asserts himself, he's trying to be more independent. And while budding independence is healthy, an outright refusal to listen isn't. 

The way you respond to a child’s defiance can either increase or decrease the likelihood that he’ll behave defiantly the next time you tell him to do something.

Whether your child says, "You can't make me!” when you tell him to pick up his toys, or he simply pretends he can't hear you when you tell him it's time to come inside, take action that will motivate him to start listening better.

1. Give Daily Doses of Positive Attention

Sometimes, children misbehave in an attempt to gain a parent’s attention, even if it is negative attention. Providing a child with just a few minutes of individual attention each day can often reduce non-compliance.

2. Praise Compliant Behavior

It’s important to offer praise when you catch your child being good. Provide your child with extra opportunities to comply with simple requests for the sole purpose of being able to offer him praise.

For example, at the dinner table, ask, “Please hand me a napkin,” and as soon as he does praise him by saying, “Thanks for handing me that napkin right when I asked you to.” This will begin sending the message that you appreciate compliance.

3. Give Effective Instructions

Make sure the defiant behavior you’re witnessing is actually defiance. For example, if you yell from the kitchen to tell your child to come to the dinner table, he might not have heard you. Give effective instructions by establishing eye contact and ensuring your child understands the directions.

Sometimes children are too tuned into the TV or the activity they’re participating in to really absorb what you’re saying. Eliminate any distractions before giving them instructions. This is especially important with children who have ADHD(

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder )

.

4. Offer Choices

One of the best ways to combat defiant behavior is to offer two choices. For example, ask a child, “Do you want to wear the red boots or the brown shoes?” By offering a choice, defiant children get a little bit of control they crave. Just make sure you can live with either choice.

5. Grandma’s Rule of Discipline

Grandma’s rule of discipline can be one of the best ways to encourage compliance. Give your child an incentive to follow directions by saying something such as, “Pick up the toys first, then you can go play outside.” Don’t nag or ask repeatedly but instead, leave it up to your child to do what you’ve said.

6. Create a Reward System

Reward systems encourage more compliant behavior. Token economy systems can be very effective with children who tend to be defiant.

They often respond well to positive reinforcement for their good behavior.

7. Behavior Contracts

Behavior contracts remind children that they can earn more privileges once they show they can behave responsibly. Set up a behavior contract that will help your child show you when he’s ready for more privileges. For example, agree to allow him to stay up 15 minutes later after he can go to bed on time for one week without arguing.

8. Avoid Power Struggles

Avoid getting into a power struggle with a child who is non-compliant. It will only make the defiance worse. Instead, use a warning such as an if…then statement to turn the behavior around. Offer one warning only and follow through with consequences when necessary.

9. Logical Consequences

Each instance of non-compliance should be addressed with a negative consequence. Time-out, or a logical consequence, such as a loss of privileges, can be effective ways to discourage defiance. Consistent discipline is the key to reducing defiant behavior.

10. Seek Professional Help

Although extreme defiance can signal a more serious problem, such as oppositional defiant disorder, occasional defiance and non-compliance are normal child behavior problems. If you are concerned that your child may have a more serious problem, or if your discipline strategies aren’t working, talk to your child's pediatrician.

You will also like to see:

1.  Disrespectful Behavior

2.    Lying

3.   Confident social behavior (DO or Don`ts)

4.    whining

5.    Child Developement


6.    Baby Psychology Tips

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